Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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