just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
