I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
