Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
