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Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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