So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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