I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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