Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
