I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
