thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
