I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
