at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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