she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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