I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
