i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
