its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
