I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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