I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.