I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden