Are we in a gay sports bar?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
