Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary