I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
