time to smoke my breakfast
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
