sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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