Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Damn victory sex feels great
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
