Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
