is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
