Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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