I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
