What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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