'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
