quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
