Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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