And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
