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I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
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