So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys