Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

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(407): I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me." http://tfl.nu/vao0

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(510): View more from California

turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks

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(510): turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks http://tfl.nu/ww87

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(734): View more from Michigan

The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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(734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96

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(954): View more from Florida

You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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(954): You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/e9kk

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.

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(202): Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again. http://tfl.nu/k4e9

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is

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(401): If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is http://tfl.nu/twoy

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(207): View more from Maine

I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.

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(207): I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs. http://tfl.nu/5epb

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(913): View more from Kansas

So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

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(913): So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof. http://tfl.nu/7fh1

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(562): View more from California

Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.

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(562): Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup. http://tfl.nu/ksxk

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(601): View more from Mississippi

She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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(601): She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs. http://tfl.nu/rhuf

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back

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(908): Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back http://tfl.nu/mdgi

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(516): View more from New York

Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down

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(516): Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down http://tfl.nu/5kb0

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(810): View more from Michigan

Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?

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(810): Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july? http://tfl.nu/yisd

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(970): View more from Colorado

Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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(970): Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die. http://tfl.nu/55zi

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.

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(206): I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it. http://tfl.nu/fi43

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