this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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