Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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