She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
