Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
