shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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