That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
