nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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