Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
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you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
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Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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