Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
