Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
