It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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