I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
