we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
