I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
