hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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