I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
