Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
two words: eviction party
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
