it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's always time for handjobs
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize