i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drunk is not a location!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
