I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
