you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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