Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
