Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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